batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
