i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
