Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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