I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize