so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
