If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize