Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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