The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
