We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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