I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Can you bring me the toilet please
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
