turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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