ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
