I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
