Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
