do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We need to rekindle our bromance
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
