why didn't you poke me back
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
