Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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