don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
