I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
