Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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