We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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