My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
