I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
