I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
