Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
