I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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