oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
