but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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