ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
