Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
