Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
