We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
