He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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