I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Mom said you looked used
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
