Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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