No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize