Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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