What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
