I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
