K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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