And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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