Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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