I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
