I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
