Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize