she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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