I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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