The maid of honor just puked.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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