The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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