I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
