it was like his penis was on wheels.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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