Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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