chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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