ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
