I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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