i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
