If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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