i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize