You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
