I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
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