how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
