What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize